2015 - What a year...

Now that 2016 has arrived, I can look back at 2015 to reflect. What a year it was. 2015 began for me in Melbourne where I was living. I had been off work for a couple of weeks by then due to acute stress disorder, so headed into the new year with a heavy heart and a desire to make significant changes in my life. The first step was to buy a ticket to go home to Canada - the rest would follow. Once I bought my ticket, I began to plot and plan what the next steps would be in my life. Some plans have fallen by the wayside, while others have been followed through to fruition. So here is a kind of monthly review...

January - March: Bit of a blur really. I was at home, on medication, seeing a therapist weekly for what had since developed into full-blown PTSD. I watched old movies and tv shows because I couldn't concentrate on new ones or follow a storyline. I knitted for hours and hours every day, and managed to awaken the carpal tunnel syndrome in my hands but yet I continued to knit. I didn't know what else to do with myself and knitting at least gave me something to do that could be accomplished, finished. I sent slippers, headbands, and mittens all over the world. I cuddled with Dundee often, and began selling off my things in preparation to return to Canada. They were hard months. I missed my family and friends back home, and my bestie in Australia moved to Perth in February with her partner. I felt pretty much alone as my co-workers forgot I existed and things turned ugly with my employer and the work cover folks as they tried their best to fuck me over. Not cool. 

April: Time was getting short before I would be heading home to Canada so the push was on to sell/pack/sort/throw out everything. As a result of selling my sewing machine, I met two amazing Muslim Indian ladies and we sewed, knitted, and talked the hours away about our cultures, our lives, and sewing. These ladies provided some very desperately sought friendship to fill the days, and we became good friends that still keep in touch. I learned a great deal from them about their culture and their lives, and am forever thankful for this. Towards the end of the month, I packed the last boxes and suitcases and moved out of my apartment and headed home, but not before my employer tried to screw me out of thousands of dollars - last pay check, vacation pay, reimbursement of medical expenses, etc. This happened on the day before I flew out. Assholes. I managed to find someone who would go to bat and help sort this mess out but it was impossible to have happen before I left Australia, so had to borrow money to leave. Ridiculous. I panicked because I was not at all ready to return to work. I also had to adopt Dundee out as I could not take him back to Canada - so expensive and I had no idea what was next. Sadly, little Dundee was struck by a car not a month later after the adoption. 

May-June: I spent these two months on the east coast with my mother and visited friends and family the for much of the time. I made several treks to Port Shoreham where my aunt lives, and to Cape Breton for family and friends. It was so good to see everyone and catch up after being away for 4 years. I also did a major closet and dresser cleaning for my mother, hours and hours and hours of sorting, throwing out, donating etc. I didn't get to finish it all and worked like a dog to the very last minute before my flight left. My mother appreciated it though and I felt good for having done this for her. I saw the Bay City Rollers in concert with my dear childhood friend G, and went for many walks, drives and time-outs. At the end of June, I took off to San Francisco to meet up with my soul sister, A. for The Grateful Dead's last show. It was amazing and San Francisco is always amazing and we had a wonderful time. 

July-August: I spent these months mostly in Victoria on Vancouver Island, with a short trek to Houston to visit my sister and go to camp with her where she was the medic on site. On the island, I moved back into the Karma van, and spent the time catching up with my friends here, and thinking about what to do next. We went camping at Englishman River Falls and Kennedy Lake, and traveled to Tofino. Karma drove like a champ most of the time but had developed an issue where if I stalled out, I could not start her back up again for anywhere from 10-30 minutes. Annoying as hell, particularly when  you are on a mountain pass...

September: After much hoop jumping and red tape, I was finally able to wrestle my pension money out of a private pension I had contributed to while at Children's Aid Society many years ago. My initial plans back in Australia were to buy a tiny home, or a school bus and convert to a tiny home. By the timeSeptember rolled around, I realized neither would work for me. The tiny houses cost a small fortune to move, and I would have nowhere to put it unless I bought or leased a land plot. They also are pretty tall and don't always fit under low overpasses or bridges. The school bus idea was nixed because of the state of my hands - I was in no shape to handle a conversion. I also didn't want to think about breakdowns in a vehicle that I cannot lift the tires to change a flat. So the RV seemed like the best option at this point, and when the cash finally came in, I was off to Nanaimo the next day with a friend to look at what I felt was the right one. I had been looking for months, years even and found exactly what I wanted. Two days later I owned Gertie and began my trek to Edmonton to see my daughter, finally! Initially I had planned on living and working in Edmonton, but thankfully after a discussion with my daughter who coudn't understand why I would choose Edmonton other than to be close to her, I decided to live in Victoria instead. I visited Edmonton for about 3 weeks before starting the track back home to Victoria. I wanted to get back before it snowed in that part of the Rockies. I visited some old friends along the way in Enderby, Kelowna, Port Moody, and Chilliwack. It was great to see everyone after my years away. I also camped in Drumheller for a couple of days on the way home and visited the Royal Tyrell Museum to see the dinosaurs. I adopted a new kitty, Nash who is the most charming little guy. 

October: Back to reality in Victoria - had to sell Karma as I didn't not need her anymore and I was afraid she might just up and die on my before I could sell her for some cash to live on. After successfully selling Karma, I began my job hunt in earnest. I had applied for a few over the summer but heard nothing back from them. The job hunt is very different now that I am not seeking to work as a social worker, and certainly never to work in child welfare in any capacity. I am over-qualified for many positions, or have no experience in a particular area to apply. 

November: Finally found a job as a telerecruiter, cold calling people to ask them to volunteer canvas for the Heart and Stroke Foundation in February. Easy money, part-time and hardly any paperwork. I also made the decision to take myself off the anxiety medication as it did not appear to be working for me AT ALL. It was pretty rough withdrawal but not as rough as it could have been. I feel so much better now and couldn't afford to pay $140/month for a med that was not working. 

December: Well, December was a busy month. I was working 5 days per week and my daughter was coming for Christmas. I had lots of preparations to get the RV ready for a live-aboard guest. I had completed several of the renos in September, such as painting the cabinets doors, and installing the solar panels. I still needed to redo the cushions, and build some shelves in my closets to contain the every growing clutter. I managed to finish up in time, and Gertie looked great. I bought a little live tree and decorated it, trimmed the inside of the RV with lights and decor, stocked my kitchen with lots of food, and shopped til I dropped. I had received a nice tax refund from Australia so it made for a less stressful Christmas. On the 23rd, my girl arrived and we had a wonderful week and a half in Victoria. I cooked turkey for a out 20 people and we socialised day and night with my friends. We strolled about the city, and drove around to see the sights. We hiked in the woods, and curled up with the kitty to read for our down time. (Well, use our electronic toys) It was a lovely way to wrap up the year, and on New Year's Day I saw my daughter off as she headed home to the frozen lands of Alberta while I continue to enjoy the above zero temps of Victoria winters. 

So there you have it, my year in review. It was a very rough year emotionally as I toiled endlessly it seemed with what to do with my life, and wondering if I would ever see any signs of recovery, frustrated with how long it was taking. I was extremely lucky to have the support of dear friends and family who have helped me in so many ways along the journey. I am looking forward to 2016 as I do recover, and refocus my energies to spending time doing things I enjoy instead of working at a job that pays lots of money, but exacts a terrible cost on your body and soul. I don't know for sure where the year will find me, but I'm sure it will be yet another adventure.