Northern Adventure

I was tiring of life in the parking lot, and feeling the need to spend time with my family so hit the road last Monday and headed off Vancouver Island to northern BC where my sister and her husband and children live. It took me two days of driving, but with the longer days I was able to get parked long before dark each night. The first night we spent in 100 Mile House. The drive up until about 30oms prior had only been wet with heavy rains down south and only spitting rain as I crept north through the Rockies. Then the sno started as I increased elevation, just outside of 100 Mile House. So I decided I was tired enough, having left from Victoria that morning and so I pulled into the Safeway parking lot, figuring in a small mountain town, they wouldn’t turn me down to park overnight because of the snowstorm we were having. I was right. No problem whatsoever and the added bonus was that Shaw Open covered the parking lot, so I just settled in for the night in my pyjamas and watched Netflix with Nash. Once the curtains are closed, it’s just home. So I grabbed a few groceries in Safeway, cooked some supper and got comfy for the night.

I woke early enough the next day, having already packed up the RV and set out my change of clothes for the new day of driving. The roads were clear and only wet in places, which suited me just fine. The winding and bending mountain highway was left behind and I made the drive through to Houston with ease by 4pm. My strapping young nephews had cleared a big spot for me in the driveway to park right next to the house, which was terrific. I backed right in and set up house for the month. I will have to drive out for pump & dump, as well as filling the propane, but for now I’m settled in. It has been cold, so I have had to turn the furnace on, which is noisy as heck but only when the temps are down at night. Once they finally start to rise next week, I won’t need to turn the furnace on at night at all.

My sister and I went snowshoeing a few days ago. My first time in more than a decade. I think it was with my Dad in West Bay Road, Cape Breton. This week I wore a pair of his snowshoes. They are wooden., made in Canada, with harnesses made in Chechslovakia. They weren’t my dad’s usual snowshoes as I think he wore Huron style, whereas these are a modified bear paw. My sister wore metal ones. I think that I wore metal ones when my Dad and I went, or he did. I did better than I thought I would as I thought I would be so tired and sore, but only my hip complained that day, and I had very little soreness the next day.

My sister, nephew and I went to visit a local farm to see some newborn calves. They had dozens to calve, and had at least a dozen born that day we went. These two were just born that morning, with the darker one born just before we got there. So cute!

The deer come right into my sister’s back yard and walk past my RV all the time. I was out today and ran into one, so wanted to see how tame she was and I got up close enough to hand feed and pet her. She was gorgeous and ate a plum right out of my hand. Nash didn’t know what to think and was sidetracked by the neighbor’s cat that strolls along the fence right outside the big window. Nash howls. 

Our next adventure is to be a tour of the local lumber mill where my brother-in-law works and my sister used to work. She is a paramedic now, as well as working at a hospital in medical records. In the meantime, I’ve been catching up on my sleep, watching a lot of Netflix, chilling with my nephews and brother-in-law, playing cards and dominoes with my sis, and staying warm. 

Loose Ends

I’ve been off work for several weeks now and feeling rather restless. I am used to be so busy that I am at a loss without a list of tasks to do. Instead I find myself thinking, wait, I will do that tomorrow so I will have something to do tomorrow. The last time I was off long term, I knit a great deal - knit myself right into severe carpal tunnel. So my hands are screwed up and it really limits how I can spend my time. I like sewing, but need power for that and I only get an hour or so where I have enough power to run the machine well. I’ve been doing a lot of writing, but I have to be in the right frame of mind for that. I can’t really color anymore as my hands cramp or go numb.. I try playing my games on the iPads, but again with my hands. I would like to go out walking but the weather has been usual winter crap - rain, wind, rare snow, more rain, more wind. I can’t hold an umbrella for long due to my hands. And so on and so on. I have been reading but it makes me sleepy at times so I end up napping. I have read several books and short stories.

So I’m restless. I need to find something to fill my days with if I cannot work. I can’t even be a good couch potato as I broke my television and the internet has been a real jerk these past few weeks. Netflix is mostly unstable so I have to download stuff somewhere else and then I can watch that stuff. I can’ only download a certain amount and only one one iPad or the other, but not both. Whine whine whinie, but such is the state of affairs. 

I feel panic just below the surface much of the day, most days of the week. It isn’t overwhelming as I recognize it for what it is, but I do not like that feeling. I know I cannot die from a panic attack, but it doesn’t make the panic and anxiety any less impactful. I am definitely in no shape to be working, that much is clear. I have a very low tolerance for violence or confrontation and am struggling with what I can watch on Netflix or what I can read. Too many triggers and it overwhelms me. I can’t even fathom reading a nasty case file about an abused child right now. Ugh...

Finding Time

Well, I have been off work for a week now, and it’s been fairly busy one, and yet when I have down time, I have a really hard time relaxing and sitting still. My nervous system is all abuzz and struggling to calm the fuck down. So I went to a yoga class today for Trauma Healing, so focused on breathing, mindfulness, and meditation. My back rebelled against some poses, but she gave me helpful instruction for at home to limber my back up before the next class. Interestingly enough, she used to be a social worker and gave it all up, just as I am about to do. We chatted about that as well. I think this is going to work for me, even though I felt like a big polar bear trying to reach some of the poses. I couldn’t see her while I was attempting them, so it was hard to tell if i was doing them right nor not. It is so handy to me, just a five minute walk from where I park. She also knew the yoga instructors who adopted Stormy in 2011 before I moved to Australia. Their apartment/yoga studio was just across the street from where this one is.

It isn’t that I don’t have things to do, as I do, but it is hard to find the motivation and energy to do much right now, especially when it’s pissing rain and chilly out. I think I will gain energy as the sun gains ground, inching us closer to summer. The leavers are coming out on the trees as are the cherry blossoms, so spring has definitely arrived. The only place in the whole country that sees spring i early February. It’s why I’m here. People try to convince me to move back east, or to Ontario - um, no, I really HATE winter and SNOW so no thanks.40+ years of winter was enough. 

I don’t want to just sit around all day and watch Netflix so I bought a day planner to keep track of my activities nd try to build some things in to look forward to and add a little structure, like the yoga class. It also helps me keep track of the days of the week. It was interesting - my usual Sunday dared began to settle in then I remembered - I do not have to go to work on Monday....and I had to convince myself that it was okay. I need this time off, and I need to take as much time as I need to feel right again. I will stick around here for the next couple of months, but then I am really looking forward to leaving the island to spend time with family. 

This weekend I am going camping in Port Renfrew this coming weekend, which will be nice. Fires on the black, hiking the local trails, and just enjoying Mother Nature. She revives me. 

Stil mourning Tom Petty and watching videos, interviews, live performances, etc every single day. I just cannot get enough. I miss you Tom Petty.

Turning The Page

I made a big decision this week after months of turmoil. I have decided I cannot do the work I do anymore. It is too hard on my body and soul and my anxiety ramps up anytime issues come up at work. I simply cannot read about the misery of children any longer. The sadness, errors in judgement, and years of frustration compressed into the volumes of a child’s life exact a heavy toll upon those who are exposed to those very personal and tragic details. There are certainly bright spots within those files, and it’s likely those that have held me there this long. My term ends at the end of March, as does their fiscal year, and there is no permanent positions coming anytime soon. So I will let my contract expire, and file for EI, and figure out what to do next. I need to spend time with family and I’ll look for work in their areas for a few months at least, part time, or take a break altogether. Much will depend on what my body and soul are ready for.  I have 9 weeks left to work, so I hope I can just run through those as I start thinking about what comes next.

What I am sure of is I’m going to drive up north to spend time with my sister and her husband, kids, in laws, etc. It’s been too long and I need to get to know my nephews more as they spring through their adolescence. They are all big strapping teenage boys now! After my sister’s I want to drive to see my daughter for at least a month and I may look for work for awhile there. I have no desire to be there for any winter months though, so I’ll be back in BC before long to enjoy the milder weather. 

I look forward to the new adventure and have some plans for how I will spend the time. I want to spend more time writing, and want to take a couple of writing classes to sharpen things up. I thought I might look at technical writing or editing to pay for the time to write my creative non-fiction. I have a book that I started writing years ago and then put it down, with it 3/4 of the way finished. I have an idea for a new one too, about my time as a social worker and what went well, what didn’t, stories from the road, what could have helped both workers and families if only it was possible or available, that kind of thing. Something another social worker might like to read or something folks who work with or know social workers might like to read. I want to keep it as light as possible when possible, as I don’t want to traumatized anyone else! I will focus on vicarious trauma and how it has impacted me and the lives of other social workers I’ve met along the way.

So that’s it.- my life is taking a new direction and I am about to turn the page. Let’s go, Nash!

My love for Tom Petty

I first began listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers when I was maybe 14 or 15 years old. I was living in Stephenville, Newfoundland at the time and like many youth of the day, the song Refugee became the anthem of my rebellious adolescence. So many good songs on Damn the Torpedoes. I bought it on vinyl. I still have one record from my youth. It’s Damn the Torpedoes. Through dozens of moves, packing boxes, from one end of the country to the other, I’ve managed to hang onto hat album. I listened to Tom with the Heartbreakers, and with the Travelling Wilburys, and his solo albums. I’ve owned vinyl, cassettes, and cd’s of his music. I had never dreamed I would see him play live as I had lived for so long on the east coast, where at that time, no one good ever came to play. 

Fast forward to 2010. It was a turning point in my life. My father had recently died. My house had burned to the ground and the community where my father’s family is from, where I was married and built my house and raised my daughter, had closed for good and everyone moved out. I bought a VW Westfalia Vanagon, painted it out, and moved on in along with my kitty, Stormy. We cross the country from Halifax to Victoria, BC, where I made my home base. 

Three friends and I embarked on our first musical adventure together in the VW, named Karma. Our first stop was Portland, Oregon where we Crosby, Stills, and Nash on Friday night and Saturday night we headed for the Gorge, in George, Washington. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers were playing, with Joe Cocker opening. It was the most epic and dynamic performance I have ever attended. First of all, it was definitely the most pictureesque setting I had ever been in for a music concert. The Gorge is set along the Columbia River, with the sun setting behind the stage as the main act begins. We had the cheapest tickets but by luck and happenstance, managed to find our way to seats in the 9th row that no one ever turned up for. Tom lit up the stage wearing a gorgeous blue blazer and to be so close as I watched him perform so many of my favorite songs...I was in bliss. I fell in love with Tom Petty all over again. I wanted more. I bought a t-shirt. 

That concert set the bar for the years since then. My friends and I made the trek to Boston to see Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers play for their 40th year. It was another epic show. We were nowhere near as close as before, sitting in a stadium instead of a natural amphitheatre but it didn’t matter. It was Tom Petty, in person, again. I sang along, hooted and hollered, whooped whooped my way through and danced my heart out. Tom and the guys brought it that night and left it on the stage. In anticipation for that concert, I had gotten another tattoo. It is of the Heartbreakers heart with the Flying V guitar through it like an arrow. I have the lyrics “I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings” tattooed above and below the heart. I bought a sweat jacket at the show. After the show, as we were waiting around for the traffic to clear so we could get a taxi home, I bought a bootleg/reject tshirt. After the guy left, two tour buses pulled up to the lights where we were hanging out...it was TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS! Mike Campbell hung out the window and waved to my friend and I!!! We were literally standing next to the tour bus at the time. My friend was so excited. I WAS EXITED!. We were on a high for quite awhile after that!

Then came October 2, 2017. The day Tom Petty died. I was devastated. I’m still not over it. I’ve been playing Tom Petty videos every day since. Every single day. I can’t seem to get enough, knowing there will never be another show, or another video, or another album. Everything he has recorded is all there ever will be now. It will be hard but it ill have to be enough. Thankfully he left us a wealth of music, with so many fascinating and talented performers that wove in and out of his life. Man, I loved Tom Petty. 

RV Living

I thought I might write a bit about what it is like to live full-time in my RV and still work full time. There is much to love about this, but there are also some challenges. I love the nomadic life it provides me, and have no regrets. Now that I'm curbside/parking lot camping and not in a stationary RV Park there are a few chores that must be done, whether I feel like it or not.

• Once a week I have to make the trek to Fort Victoria RV Park to empty the grey and black water tanks and fill my water tank. This means I have to hook up the hose to the output and pull the plunger first for the pooper, then for the grey water (sink water - dish washing, hand washing, etc. While those are emptying out, I dispense with all of my recycling and garbage, filling the water tank at the same time.   I also check the oil and brake fluid to ensure things are running smoothly. 
• I do not use the shower in the RV (only a couple of times) so shower at my friend's houses and wash up inbetween. I can wash my hair and body in a bowl of water, having learned how to cut my eco footprint over the past couple of years. 
• During the week, I have to move my garbage and deposit recycling on by dropping it in the parking lot garbage. The deposit recycling disappears quite quickly with all the bottle pickers in this city. 
• I rely on my solar charged batteries to charge/power my toys such as my iPads, iPhone, computer, and television. I can also use it for minor low wattage appliances too.. I haven't had a power bill since moving back to Canada as I generate enough of my own. My lights run on my house battery that is charged when I drive the RV. 
• Space is limited, so anytime I buy something for the RV, it has to have more than one purpose if possible. If I buy new clothes, then I have to cull what I have for a bag of clothing. I am a bit of a clothes hog., and this is an ongoing challenge. There is more storage than I thought I would have in here, but it can often be like playing Tetris to make everything fit. 
• My hardwood floors are finally complete - they are easy to take care of and look great. I'm hoping they will help keep the floors a bit warmer this winter, especially if I can't find anywhere to plug in for the winter. It sure takes less time to sweep and mop the RV compared to looking after a house or apartment. 
• Initially I was concerned that the cat litter would be a problem, as it sure was in the Karma van, as Stormy would take a big dump just as I settled into bed each night and stink up the whole RV, however I have been using the crystal litter and have a curtain between the "house' part of the RV and the front cab. I smell virtually nothing until it comes time to change it. Of course, i do hear him in there at times, digging his way to China...the clawing at the side of the litter to lose any litter stuck under his claws. 
• I have two sets of curtains. My regular curtains and my blackout curtains for when I want to curb side camp and not draw too much attention to myself. Now that the mayor here has lifted the restriction about sleeping overnight in vehicles, I don't have to use them as much, but in the summer I like to use them to keep it dark when I want to sleep in. 
• My fridge is quite big for such a small space and constantly amazes me at how much I can fit in there. The only issue is that because of its age, it is not frost free, so the ice builds up in the freezer and I have to thaw it out. 
• I can literally park just about anywhere and live off the grid for a week or more without needing any services. And I have! I should do more exploring than I have, so hope to do a bit this fall. 
• I can watch Netflix just about anywhere in the city as there are Shaw Hotspots just about anywhere, which is awesome. I might not have live TV (which I hate anyway) but this is better. And when I don't have service, I have tons of downloaded content to watch. 
• There is no air conditioning - usually not an issue but this summer we have had a few really hot spells that have me sweating like mad in here at times. It will all be over soon enough and when it gets too hot, I sit outside in the shade of the RV.
• Traffic noise - life in the city is bound to be a bit noisy and with single paned windows and four skylights that I have open most of the year round. At night it calms quite a bit so it isn't keeping me up at night. It's farther away from the busier streets than when I was curbside camping, so that's a bonus of the parking lot. I'm surrounded on three sides by nice residential space with lots of trees which tends to buffer the noise a bit too. 
• I have been documenting most of the places I've camped at one point or another, a bit of a journal, just to keep track. I don't write more than one page most times and try to include some tidbits of life in the RV. 
• Paying for parking has had its own challenges - they came out with an app which worked really well until they updated it and now it's so inaccurate and double charges me, or even triple charges me. So now I am back to using my credit card with the pay station or coins. Annoying as hell, and I have complained more than once to no avail.

So that is the wrap up of RV life...

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Nash and Memphis

Sounds like a country song, but in actual fact, Nash is the resident kitty, and Memphis is a dog I happen to be dog sitting for a week. Neither Nash nor Memphis had any exposure to the other (dogs or cats). From day one, they hit it off. No hissing, growling, or running away. So I have taken to taking Nash out on his leash around the house where I am house sitting as the dog gives him his space and doesn't seem to upset the cat at all, and Nash even rubs up against the dog. Now walking a cat is not at all like walking a dog. There is no real destination in mind, and it isn't about what ground gets covered, or where the best place to pee/poop is. It is simply about holding the leash while the cat sniffs it all out. So my guard was down as he was having a good sniff. And he bolted...ripping the retractable leash right out of my hand. What followed was a complete circus act I'm sure...

Nash ran off, I didn't see where so went running, calling his name everywhere, racing around the yard and the house, calling out. I asked Memphis to help find the cat, and he got the scent, but had no idea what I was asking as he took me into the back yard where we had been, not where the cat was. Around and around I am running, calling out for the cat, cursing it at the same time. Then I hear a kerfuffle in the bushes close to where I lost him and it was Nash! The dog realized this and barked at him, sending Nash under the RV, clattering the leash the whole way. How it didn't get caught in the bushes, I do not know. It would have helped...so then Nash is under the RV, but has jumped up onto something under there, so all I can see is the damn retractable leash case, unlocked so with every move, it keeps letting out the lead. All I could think of is that goddamn cat getting tangled up in the mechanical bits underneath, exhaust system, or who the hell knows. I couldn't reach him so went in search of something to at least snag the leash with. Came back with a hoe. Seemed less scary than a rake. Well that didn't help matters, as I could not snag the leash and the metal clanging just freaked him out. So he jumped down from where he was and moved someplace else, still under the RV, up onto something.

Hmm, what to do next. Cat is howling and dog is anxious to see the cat, not helping matters much as he pants heavily while he paces next to the RV. So I decide to go put the dog on the leash, but that still isn't far enough for Nash to jump down. Okay, put dog in the house. Wait, the door is locked, go grab the keys from the RV. Damn I'm hot, change while I'm in there out of my work clothes that are suffocating me, and go to lock the dog in the house while I rescue the cat. Dog won't come. I have to go and drag him towards the steps as he wanted to be there to see the cat I'm sure. I don't care, you have to go into the house. Get the dog in the house, go back to rescuing cat. Laid a blanket down on the ground, then realized if the cat is trapped by his leash, I'll need something to cut it. WTF? Back into the RV, digging for a pair of cutting pliers, then back under the RV. Can't reach the cat, dosen't seem to be tangled up yet. I crawl back out from under the RV - can't get close enough to grab him anyhow as the RV is too low. NOW WHAT?

Next thing I know, Nash has scrabbled out from under the RV and ran into the bushes again. Dammit. So off I ran, and out he ran again down into the yard, then around the house, then around the RV again, into the bushes and around again we went before the leash finally got hooked up in one of the railings. I was beat out and panting hard in this smokey air (forest fire smoke from the mainland) so I threw the cat in the RV and went and let the dog out - no walk for anyone tonight - there was enough running around the yard! Damn I'm tired...